The Colbert Roleplay Report

TONIGHT on the Report...

[ THE ANONYMESS ]

The dangers of free speech on the internet. Why players only enjoy it when they don't have to admit they said what they meant.

[ PROTECTING FROM CYBER INTELLIGENCE]

CISPA couldn't have come at a better time. Now I'll finally have the right firewalls up to protect my internet handles from all those viagra ads.


When cats make eHarmony videos, they can't hold their composer over their love of me. This is The Colbert Roleplay Report.


( Your doctor prescribes Stephen Colbert, side effects may include a sudden appeal to the opposite sex and a healthy does of truthiness... )

Welcome back to the Colbertnation, my faithful journalers. As I'm sure most of you can barely contain your excitement and are fidgeting in your computer chairs, or couches, or bean bag chairs if you're like most Livejournal Roleplayers and live a double life as a college student, waiting with bated breath…I'll admit, patience is a virtue I rarely like to practice. But this is one of those instances where you have to save the best for last. I'm that chocolately bit sitting at the end of a Nestlé Drumstick® Ice Cream Cone; you have to eat through all that vanilla and caramel before you get to my hard, chocolatey center.

Now, notice I said bated, not baited. Dictionary.com shows those two have very different meanings, and if you're waiting with baited breath, I hope you're either the winner of an all you can eat sushi competition, or you're a mermaid. If you're neither, I might suggest a breath mint.

However fresh or vile your breath smells, you're going to have to wait for my miraculous first report and return to the center stage of journal-based roleplaying. Until then, I've done a bit of research on my own and I know what you kids are up to these days: Plurk. For those of you who aren't as hip and with it as this guy here, plurk isn't just the sound of last night's bean burrito finding it's final resting place. Actually, it's an internet chatting service that's very similar to twitter, except it has this really annoying goldfish that reminds me a lot of the paper clip in Microsoft word. You can never get rid of that guy.

But if you want to follow my progress or found out what I had for breakfast, and I know you do, you can become my fan on plurk. COLONEL OF TRUTH, since I'm on a role with this naming scheme. Why stop a good thing while it's still going?

Stay tuned!