The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
coloneloftruth) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
roleplayreport2012-04-28 09:23 pm
coloneloftruth) wrote in roleplayreport2012-04-28 09:23 pm
Episode ★ 02 ★
TONIGHT on the Report...
[ THE ANONYMESS ]
The dangers of free speech on the internet. Why players only enjoy it when they don't have to admit they said what they meant.
[ PROTECTING FROM CYBER INTELLIGENCE]
CISPA couldn't have come at a better time. Now I'll finally have the right firewalls up to protect my internet handles from all those viagra ads.
When cats make eHarmony videos, they can't hold their composer over their love of me. This is The Colbert Roleplay Report.
Welcome back to the The Roleplay Report. It's been a long month for me, Nation, and not just because taxes were due; I have what we like to call up in the 1%, "people" to do that for me and expect little to nothing in return but a kiss to their baby and a Colbert Brand pair of socks. It's been busy because I've been bitten by the meme bug, and nothing tickles my fancy--not to be confused with Tickle Me Elmo--more than "anon memes".
★ THE ANONYMESS
If I had one word to describe the anonymous users of the internet it would be "Powerful". If I had two, it would be "Terrifying". Given that I am a man of the Constitution, I fully support every American's right to free speech, and there is nothing more free than the abundance of places to put your opinions where no one will give a crap. If you live in another country; I'm sorry. You'll have to abide by your Constitution--if you have one--but you might be able to apply for a Visa if you get married to one of our closeted gay men. That's for the ladies, if that wasn't obvious enough.
Back to the point. There is nothing more American than voicing your opinions regardless of what the rest of the population thinks. And luckily for us, the Roleplaying World not only is a perfect place for dissenting opinions, but we even have platforms to let these feelings fester and boil over into a long worded rant that even makes Shakespeare put on the brakes. Sorry, pal, but there are only so many ways you can bite your thumb at someone before they stop caring. But for us, there are places like rpanons and anticirclejerk.
Both of these memes got their start back on LiveJournal, and as we all know, "El Jay" sold its soul to our communist overlords like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
igrick, so anyone that still comments on those memes is only directing hate at other lackeys of Mother Russia. News flash: I don't speak Russian, and neither should you! If you're going to talk smack about your friends and friemies behind their backs, it should at least be in the language that God intended: English. And I'm talking good, old-fashioned American English, folks. Drop those extra Us and Ss. They don't even make sense.
Now, I could go to bablefish and translate some cleverly veiled insult into Swahili if I wanted and post that on a meme. And, I guess in that I could giggle to myself in the knowledge that my hated rival would never know the words I've poetically weaved to degrade their character, but what's the point if they can't understand the amount of pain their writing online has caused to someone they may not even know? That's right, there's no reason in slamming someone if you can't watch the trainwreck yourself.
The RP Anon Meme atrpanons is your general, run of the mill and unending meme for comments, positive and negative. It's like particles except we actually care about these. People generally talk about different games and different series they're into or want to play a character from. It can be a great place for getting to know your fellow player, I've heard, but there's a meme that I spend much more time on. And that, my friends is the Hate Meme.
Now, I likeanticirclejerk for a couple of reasons. First of all, it has a clear focus; see how many people on the internet you can make feel like crap within a couple of comments. Secondly, you have an even mix of people who take it as seriously as they should, and others who pretend not to care about what's being said about them. And lastly, because there is no better motivation for taking action than a good dose of fear and loathing. It's just how the founding fathers of the internet would have wanted.
There are four different types of people who comment on Hate memes:
Number One: The original commenter, or "The Hater", who has a "beef" with another player and wants to start up "wank". I know these are strange terms, but bear with me. These are people who, essentially, may or may not have a valid concern about another person, but instead of taking it to them individually, would rather incite a small militia of like-minded patriots with the sole purpose of making a single person or a group of people bad about what they do in their hobby. They know that they are right and there is no better way to get their point across than a public forum where they don't have to own up to their actions or words. These people are also what I like to call the "Two Face", just like the Batman villian, because they may even be your online BFF and you would never know. This is my favorite category of people.
Number Two: The friends of the hated who dive in to protect their co-player's honor, commonly known as "Whiteknights". Now, I like to think of the people they're arguing against to be "Blacknights" in return, but I don't see color, so we're just going to call them "Knights". These are friends of the person on the receiving end of the hate who either have their own valid points to help try and stifle an argument, or shout a series of "LOL NO"'s at the respective criticisms and are often questioned why they stand beside someone know for being generally awful online and off. No one really understands these people, but they stay equally anonymous as the Haters, lest they be defaced in their own hate thread. I like to think of these guys as ball lickers. There's got to be something they're getting out of this to stand up for someone they probably don't even like that much.
Number Three: The person receiving the criticism, or "The Hated". These are the people that are emotionally and sometimes physically wounded by the words of someone on the internet they will probably never meet in person, or maybe haven't even spoken to in a virtual setting, either. The most common ways of coping with hearing something that they don't want is to go undercover as a "Knight" and defend themself, say that the person "in question" doesn't check anonymous memes, or return the favor and start up a thread for the person that may or may have not given them the original criticisms in the first place. This is a great way of snowballing a whole new series of backhanded comments and pictures that are best not to be shown in an office setting. It's a double-edged sword, my friends.
It's not easy being Hated, but thankfully, you don't even have to pretend it doesn't bother you or that you didn't see it anymore. Because we have...
The first one-hundred purchases will get expedited shipping and a signed photo of myself wearing the blinders. Now, I don't need these on a regular basis, Nation. I live my own personal reality every day.
And finally, Number Four: The Unanonymous. These are the people will balls. Ignoring the fact that hundreds of thousands of their colleagues are hiding behind the protection of anonymity, these people go forth with their own opinions while logged in. And I'm not talking about the cop-out "sockpuppet journal". No, they are using their own journal and putting a face behind their words. These are the people with balls. Which brings me to my...
★ ALPHA DOG OF THE WEEK
I'm giving this one to the team behindanticirclejerk, that is The Hate Meme Moderator/s. Just as the meme itself is anonymous, the makers of the Hate meme adopt the same type of secrecy one would expect from someone who doesn't want to be associated with the mongering they're helping facilitate. Now, I know I said the people with real cojones are those who stay logged in, but let's face it, folks, it takes a huge, swinging pair to not only post a new meme every few days in which people can generally degrade one another in a fashion reminiscent of middle school without the locker notes and swirlies, but come up with classic responses like, "everyone in this thread is b&".
You are the Alpha Dog this week, Mods. Keep greeting each anonymous hater the way any good dog would.
★ PROTECTING FROM CYBER INTELLIGENCE
There's a new hero in town, Nation, and it's one that I happen to have on speed dial like Batman with the Bat signal, except much less artistic; the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, or more commonly known as CISPA. You may remember it's cousins PIPA and SOPA, but let's face it, those are old news. This is the future: if it's not singing off-key, tanned to a nice shade of orange, or having gratuitous amounts of sex on television, we really don't care what it's doing. These are not the core values we were mean to grow up with. That's why we should be welcoming this new internet protection bill in with open arms.
It was first introduced to the House by Representative Michael Rogers (R-MI). It's stated to provide for the sharing of certain cyber threat intelligence and cyber threat information between the intelligence community and cybersecurity entities, and for other purposes. Now, I like terms like "other purposes" because it's straight to the point, meaning anything but what they previously said. That's right, folks, it's a free for all, and isn't that what you want in this free market economy? The United States Government has the right to police the government like the bulldogs they are, since it was ours to begin with.
And really, what could be more useful to people at the Pentagon other than skimming through the various tweets and Facebook comments about that "tly lame lolol" movie you saw. Maybe that recipe that grandma finally was able to type up after hours of dealing with arthritis and constant bouts of amnesia about what she was actually doing really is harboring secret information that she wants you to forward to that mysterious prince in Nigera who keeps wanting to send you money. But, when it comes down to it, they're really just trying to give us a boost of confidence.
That's right, the government is taking interest in our daily lives! They want to know how well you play that one guy from Assassin's Creed, or how many icons you need to accurately show the range of emotions from that one girl in Madoka. They really do care about your cross-canon relationships, as well as where exactly you're getting the music for your fan-made soundtracks. I know that I'll be jamming on my gold-encrusted iPod to an old Sephiroth Playlist I found on Livejournal years ago.
Nation, you and I are like-minded people because I know you agree with everything that I say. It comes out like golden honey from my lips to be spread on only the highest quality full-grain products with a side of high-fructose corn-syrup. So, I'm asking you, contact your local lawmakers and let them know how you feel about CISPA. This could very well be a reality, so we need to be sure that they understand how excited we are to friend the entirety of the United States Goverment to Facebook and share even the smallest bit of personal information with our new besties! Hey, there's no better time to jump on this bandwagon than the present. Maybe you'll even find your local representative picking up Sailor Moon during your next application cycle.
Welcome to the future of America!
★ SPECIAL GUEST
Welcome back to the program our final segment, the Special Guest of the evening. I've had a number of different people and otherwordly creatures on this show, I even interviewed the Cloverfield Monster once. We don't do anything halfway at the Report. Since it's been a while, I'll take this opportunity to point you towards the Special Guest Request page if you think you can go one-on-one with me.
But for tonight, my special guest is... Jon Stewartstewartlittle.
[ THE ANONYMESS ]
The dangers of free speech on the internet. Why players only enjoy it when they don't have to admit they said what they meant.
[ PROTECTING FROM CYBER INTELLIGENCE]
CISPA couldn't have come at a better time. Now I'll finally have the right firewalls up to protect my internet handles from all those viagra ads.
When cats make eHarmony videos, they can't hold their composer over their love of me. This is The Colbert Roleplay Report.
Welcome back to the The Roleplay Report. It's been a long month for me, Nation, and not just because taxes were due; I have what we like to call up in the 1%, "people" to do that for me and expect little to nothing in return but a kiss to their baby and a Colbert Brand pair of socks. It's been busy because I've been bitten by the meme bug, and nothing tickles my fancy--not to be confused with Tickle Me Elmo--more than "anon memes".
★ THE ANONYMESS
If I had one word to describe the anonymous users of the internet it would be "Powerful". If I had two, it would be "Terrifying". Given that I am a man of the Constitution, I fully support every American's right to free speech, and there is nothing more free than the abundance of places to put your opinions where no one will give a crap. If you live in another country; I'm sorry. You'll have to abide by your Constitution--if you have one--but you might be able to apply for a Visa if you get married to one of our closeted gay men. That's for the ladies, if that wasn't obvious enough.
Back to the point. There is nothing more American than voicing your opinions regardless of what the rest of the population thinks. And luckily for us, the Roleplaying World not only is a perfect place for dissenting opinions, but we even have platforms to let these feelings fester and boil over into a long worded rant that even makes Shakespeare put on the brakes. Sorry, pal, but there are only so many ways you can bite your thumb at someone before they stop caring. But for us, there are places like rpanons and anticirclejerk.Both of these memes got their start back on LiveJournal, and as we all know, "El Jay" sold its soul to our communist overlords like
igrick, so anyone that still comments on those memes is only directing hate at other lackeys of Mother Russia. News flash: I don't speak Russian, and neither should you! If you're going to talk smack about your friends and friemies behind their backs, it should at least be in the language that God intended: English. And I'm talking good, old-fashioned American English, folks. Drop those extra Us and Ss. They don't even make sense.Now, I could go to bablefish and translate some cleverly veiled insult into Swahili if I wanted and post that on a meme. And, I guess in that I could giggle to myself in the knowledge that my hated rival would never know the words I've poetically weaved to degrade their character, but what's the point if they can't understand the amount of pain their writing online has caused to someone they may not even know? That's right, there's no reason in slamming someone if you can't watch the trainwreck yourself.
The RP Anon Meme at
rpanons is your general, run of the mill and unending meme for comments, positive and negative. It's like particles except we actually care about these. People generally talk about different games and different series they're into or want to play a character from. It can be a great place for getting to know your fellow player, I've heard, but there's a meme that I spend much more time on. And that, my friends is the Hate Meme.Now, I like
anticirclejerk for a couple of reasons. First of all, it has a clear focus; see how many people on the internet you can make feel like crap within a couple of comments. Secondly, you have an even mix of people who take it as seriously as they should, and others who pretend not to care about what's being said about them. And lastly, because there is no better motivation for taking action than a good dose of fear and loathing. It's just how the founding fathers of the internet would have wanted.There are four different types of people who comment on Hate memes:
Number One: The original commenter, or "The Hater", who has a "beef" with another player and wants to start up "wank". I know these are strange terms, but bear with me. These are people who, essentially, may or may not have a valid concern about another person, but instead of taking it to them individually, would rather incite a small militia of like-minded patriots with the sole purpose of making a single person or a group of people bad about what they do in their hobby. They know that they are right and there is no better way to get their point across than a public forum where they don't have to own up to their actions or words. These people are also what I like to call the "Two Face", just like the Batman villian, because they may even be your online BFF and you would never know. This is my favorite category of people.
Number Two: The friends of the hated who dive in to protect their co-player's honor, commonly known as "Whiteknights". Now, I like to think of the people they're arguing against to be "Blacknights" in return, but I don't see color, so we're just going to call them "Knights". These are friends of the person on the receiving end of the hate who either have their own valid points to help try and stifle an argument, or shout a series of "LOL NO"'s at the respective criticisms and are often questioned why they stand beside someone know for being generally awful online and off. No one really understands these people, but they stay equally anonymous as the Haters, lest they be defaced in their own hate thread. I like to think of these guys as ball lickers. There's got to be something they're getting out of this to stand up for someone they probably don't even like that much.
Number Three: The person receiving the criticism, or "The Hated". These are the people that are emotionally and sometimes physically wounded by the words of someone on the internet they will probably never meet in person, or maybe haven't even spoken to in a virtual setting, either. The most common ways of coping with hearing something that they don't want is to go undercover as a "Knight" and defend themself, say that the person "in question" doesn't check anonymous memes, or return the favor and start up a thread for the person that may or may have not given them the original criticisms in the first place. This is a great way of snowballing a whole new series of backhanded comments and pictures that are best not to be shown in an office setting. It's a double-edged sword, my friends.
It's not easy being Hated, but thankfully, you don't even have to pretend it doesn't bother you or that you didn't see it anymore. Because we have...
The first one-hundred purchases will get expedited shipping and a signed photo of myself wearing the blinders. Now, I don't need these on a regular basis, Nation. I live my own personal reality every day.
And finally, Number Four: The Unanonymous. These are the people will balls. Ignoring the fact that hundreds of thousands of their colleagues are hiding behind the protection of anonymity, these people go forth with their own opinions while logged in. And I'm not talking about the cop-out "sockpuppet journal". No, they are using their own journal and putting a face behind their words. These are the people with balls. Which brings me to my...
★ ALPHA DOG OF THE WEEK
I'm giving this one to the team behind
anticirclejerk, that is The Hate Meme Moderator/s. Just as the meme itself is anonymous, the makers of the Hate meme adopt the same type of secrecy one would expect from someone who doesn't want to be associated with the mongering they're helping facilitate. Now, I know I said the people with real cojones are those who stay logged in, but let's face it, folks, it takes a huge, swinging pair to not only post a new meme every few days in which people can generally degrade one another in a fashion reminiscent of middle school without the locker notes and swirlies, but come up with classic responses like, "everyone in this thread is b&".You are the Alpha Dog this week, Mods. Keep greeting each anonymous hater the way any good dog would.
★ PROTECTING FROM CYBER INTELLIGENCE
There's a new hero in town, Nation, and it's one that I happen to have on speed dial like Batman with the Bat signal, except much less artistic; the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, or more commonly known as CISPA. You may remember it's cousins PIPA and SOPA, but let's face it, those are old news. This is the future: if it's not singing off-key, tanned to a nice shade of orange, or having gratuitous amounts of sex on television, we really don't care what it's doing. These are not the core values we were mean to grow up with. That's why we should be welcoming this new internet protection bill in with open arms.
It was first introduced to the House by Representative Michael Rogers (R-MI). It's stated to provide for the sharing of certain cyber threat intelligence and cyber threat information between the intelligence community and cybersecurity entities, and for other purposes. Now, I like terms like "other purposes" because it's straight to the point, meaning anything but what they previously said. That's right, folks, it's a free for all, and isn't that what you want in this free market economy? The United States Government has the right to police the government like the bulldogs they are, since it was ours to begin with.
And really, what could be more useful to people at the Pentagon other than skimming through the various tweets and Facebook comments about that "tly lame lolol" movie you saw. Maybe that recipe that grandma finally was able to type up after hours of dealing with arthritis and constant bouts of amnesia about what she was actually doing really is harboring secret information that she wants you to forward to that mysterious prince in Nigera who keeps wanting to send you money. But, when it comes down to it, they're really just trying to give us a boost of confidence.
That's right, the government is taking interest in our daily lives! They want to know how well you play that one guy from Assassin's Creed, or how many icons you need to accurately show the range of emotions from that one girl in Madoka. They really do care about your cross-canon relationships, as well as where exactly you're getting the music for your fan-made soundtracks. I know that I'll be jamming on my gold-encrusted iPod to an old Sephiroth Playlist I found on Livejournal years ago.
Nation, you and I are like-minded people because I know you agree with everything that I say. It comes out like golden honey from my lips to be spread on only the highest quality full-grain products with a side of high-fructose corn-syrup. So, I'm asking you, contact your local lawmakers and let them know how you feel about CISPA. This could very well be a reality, so we need to be sure that they understand how excited we are to friend the entirety of the United States Goverment to Facebook and share even the smallest bit of personal information with our new besties! Hey, there's no better time to jump on this bandwagon than the present. Maybe you'll even find your local representative picking up Sailor Moon during your next application cycle.
Welcome to the future of America!
★ SPECIAL GUEST
Welcome back to the program our final segment, the Special Guest of the evening. I've had a number of different people and otherwordly creatures on this show, I even interviewed the Cloverfield Monster once. We don't do anything halfway at the Report. Since it's been a while, I'll take this opportunity to point you towards the Special Guest Request page if you think you can go one-on-one with me.
But for tonight, my special guest is... Jon Stewart
stewartlittle.
★ SPECIAL GUEST
no subject
I only responded to your email because you said it was urgent. Are we seriously do this again?
no subject
Of course we are. The internet needs us. Well, more me than you, but I'm sure there's a small subset of Dreamwidth Roleplay that you can cater to.
no subject
no subject